“WTF do I do with this,” you may find yourself wondering as you scratch your head, becoming ever more homicidal as more time slips by and you’re still not high.
But don’t worry. I’m a gentleman and a scholar and I just ran into this problem myself, so I’ve done the research for your lazy stoner ass. Here, the best ways to smoke hash:

1. Roll a spliff


My friend Yasmine smokes hash “with tobacco, rolled, like a joint. It’s the only way.”
To do this, you simply stick a chunk of hash on a key or a pin (a key is preferred). Then, you burn it slightly with a lighter to soften it. Don’t char it, but keep the flame on it until it crumbles and can break down more easily. Crumble it up and mix it with tobacco, and roll it up into a spliff. Viola.

2. The glass teepee




I honestly have no idea what this method is called. It can be a bit cumbersome to set up at first, but it’s highly effective once you get the hang of it. Here’s what you do:
Get a sewing pin, and stick it through a cigarette. Stick the hash on the top of the pin, and put the cigarette in a clear glass, so the tips are creating a bridge. Light the hash, and cover the opening of the glass with a paper or book, or whatever you have lying around. Once you the see the glass has filled up with smoke, breathe it in. Commence snack time.

3. The sketchy Pole


I once had a 22-year-old friend with benefits who did everything in as dodgy a manner as humanly possible—including getting high. I’m not sure what the hell I was doing other than willfully continuing to participate in an extended existential crisis, but I digress. This is the way I generally smoke hash, and I find it quite easy and effective.
The mustachioed FWB would get a standard ballpoint pen and gut it, so he had a hollow plastic tube. Then he would get a paper clip or straight pin, and affix the hashish to the end of it. You burn the hash with a lighter, but only slightly—just until you see the first whiff of smoke. Then you inhale the smoke through the pen’s carcass. You need to have quick lungs for this one, or you’ll miss the smoke and waste the hash. You want to avoid utilizing this method with the dreaded talk-n-toker though—you know, that asshole who prattles on with a burning communal joint in hand as though it were a personal cigarette. Can we just execute these ninnies already?

4. Hot Knives


In a similarly sketchy fashion, you may want to use the seriously old school method of hot knives. Take two knives and heat them up on the element of an electric stove. Once hot, take a little bit of hash or hash oil, put it on the knife blade, and place the other knife on top of it. The smoke can be inhaled through a pen or straw, whatever floats your boat.

5. Bottle tokes


Revive your teendom for a minute and brush up on the three Rs of recycling at the same time! All you need is a plastic bottle. Basically, you’re working with the same concept used to create a bottle bong for weed smoking.
All you need to do to create this highly effective device is put a small hole in the bottom of a bottle (either glass or plastic) just big enough for a cigarette to fit through. Take a small nug of hash and affix it to the end of a cigarette, and poke the cigarette through the hole with the hash end inside of it. Let the bottle fill up with smoke (make sure the cap is on obviously so it doesn’t escape…) and when it’s full of hash smoke, inhale. This is how we do along the east coast of Canada, and I can assure you it works.
And that’s all she wrote, friends. Do you think we’ve missed something off the list? Share your hash smoking tips onsocial media or in the comments section below.